In her final moments, she asked to have her favorite gospel song put on, and she moved her mouth along with it, and continued to sing after the song ended; shortly after, she breathed her last and entered into eternity.

I’ll always remember my youthful summers spent at Grandma and Papa’s. Cinnamon toast and orange juice in the mornings, and then adventure after adventure chasing after my Uncle Shawn (just 8 years older than me), or watching my Papa work in the barnyard on this and that.

It was at Grandma’s house that I first discovered that I didn’t like fish, and there I learned that a davenport, couch and sofa were all the same. It was Grandma that gently stroked my back and neck while I fell asleep on her lap waiting for my parents to come pick me up from nights out with friends or just each other.

Grandma had the best tasting toothpaste too- Pepsodent. She loved to tend her garden, and taught me about the arduous art of house cleaning, of which she was more than masterful. Every year on my birthday, she called to sing “Happy Birthday”, and when I turned 30 this year, Papa called for her because she wasn’t strong enough to sing- but I heard her singing in the background just the same (whether she actually was, or it was my memories taking over I’ll never know, and that’s perfectly ok too).

She always loved having all the family together. Picnics at Julia Davis Park, swimming and BBQ’s at Uncle Mike’s, family reunions in Donelly, Christmas or just getting together to play some Rook and laugh. In recent years Grandma and Papa became snowbird’s, spending the cold Idaho winters in Arizona with new and old friends. Grandma always wanted to be home for the holidays, but enjoyed the time with Papa whom she had married at 17.

I suppose it’s customary to list those she leaves here on earth, but I’ll leave that for the newspaper. Instead, I rejoice with her now as she is meeting one person that she rarely knew, but missed dearly all her adult life; Grandma and Papa miscarried a pregnancy. She is finally holding that child, seeing them for the first time, and, of course, leaping and dancing from the amazing joy of being in the presence of Jesus.

I know that I speak for all of those still ‘stuck’ here when I say that I will miss your laugh and beautiful smile, but look forward with great expectations to The Day I see you again.

I love you Grandma!

~Nicholas

Somebody “famous” doesn’t want to be associated with people that are the anti-thesis of Jesus? And?…

I agree whole-heartedly (with Chad); we would do well to stop focusing on labels and focus more on The Mission.

I think another interesting point about Anne Rice making this declaration on Facebook is the fact that Facebook has done so much to have us put labels on ourselves; ie- relationship status, political views, religious views.

I love the myriad of responses I’ve seen in response to the later: everything from the very specific, “Christian–Protestant-Wesleyan-Nazarene” to just simply “Love” (both of those from people that I know attend the same local church).

If Anne Rice wants to throw off the label that so easily entangles, that is her prerogative; as far as I can see, she hasn’t demanded that anyone else join her (ie- if you really love Jesus you’ll do this too); nor has she condemned anyone that would prefer the monicker still.

To the haters: Get some freakin perspective people! If you have beef with an individual’s choice and honestly want to have something to stick in your craw, try one of these: In the time it’s taken you to read this, over 197 children have died throughout the world, or, An average of over 307,000 Americans spent that last hour looking at porn on the internet.*

There, now you have something to be upset about.

*Sources:
Compassion Hunger Facts (PDF download link)
HeartSupport.com

Source Sex Addiction

My name is Nick Shoemaker and I am a lust-a-holic, this is my story.

I viewed my first pornographic image at the ripe age of 13.

No, my dad didn’t have magazines around. We were on family vacation and came across an abandoned house in the hills of Oregon somewhere that was, literally, full of old magazines. My mom said, “There’s a Playboy.”
I saw it, and I knew what it was. I waited until everyone was heading back to the car and made up some excuse to go back in the house. I plopped down in front of it, picked it up and quickly flipped through it. I saw one, quarter page ad of actual porn- then my mom called for me, and I dropped it and ran out of the house.

I knew it was wrong.
I was hooked.

If you’re a man and you’re reading this and you identify with this- I’m glad, at least now you know that you’re not alone. If you’re a woman and you’re reading this, I’m glad that the info-graphic above let’s you know you’re not alone.

Next step: Talk.

Talk with anyone who will listen. Talk with your grandmother. Talk with your best friend. Just talk. Don’t live in the shadows. Bust out into the freedom that is found in the light of day and complete openness. Do it again tomorrow. And the next day.

One more thing.

If the title I’ve chosen for this post truly offends you, shut up. You care more about 7 letters than you do about MILLIONS of people that are hurting and crying out. My hope is not to incite offense, but spur us on towards genuine communication about the voids in our lives and how we try to fill them.

Be well,
~Nick

Here’s the short list:

Jaxon is nearly 15 months old now, he’s 34+ inches tall and is just about to walk on his own. He and I (and my gorgeous wife Amie) have gibberish conversations on a daily basis. It’s awesome!

I have had the amazing opportunity to work with the folks at Creative Fuel Studios, a part of Ignition Garage, on a few projects with many more to come. Seriously, if you’re thinking about doing something creative these are the folks you want behind you.

I wrote here about the polarizing effect death has on us, especially young death. A young man that was a part of the youth ministry at our church drowned on July 6th and I had the tremendous blessing of being involved with Cody’s Celebration of Life this last week, both in putting together a video montage of pictures from his life and in helping to plan the service with the family. If you’d like, please stop by the Facebook Group set up in honor of Cody, if just to take a moment out of your daily commotion, to reflect.

Along with these there’s the usual maniacal things often referred to as life. But, especially of late, I’ve grown weary of them and have found a glimmer of hope in a little book I’m going through right now. Getting Things Done is helping me get my life a little more organized, but, what’s more, it’s helping me get a lot more things DONE. I’m just through the first chapter, and already I’m seeing a dramatic increase in my productivity. Check it out, even if you don’t struggle in this area, because there’s always room for improvement!

There. I’m caught up. Kinda.

OH! This week I’ll be guest posting on Media Salt a couple times. Check out what Cleve and Eric have going and don’t forget to check out the other summer guest bloggers as well!

Be well!
~Nick

Jaxon was gettin’ some pool time in with my wife’s parents, so I grabbed the camera and snapped a few shots. This one is my desktop background for June. You can check out the rest of the shots when you connect with me on Facebook!

It rises and falls like the tide on this ever changing sea we call our emotions.

It’s been used in book and movie titles, and even as part of political campaign slogans.

Today, at least for me, hope became more real and reached new heights of clarity with one statement:

I could try to tell the backstory here, but I’d invite you to just watch this great video that I previously posted about.

Zac,
I never knew you, but I wish I had. Your faith is so real and so…. fresh. It’s refreshing. My heart breaks and rejoices at the same time, and I have no more words.

Be well, and I hope I get to see you someday.
~Nick

It’s crazy how death young death is so clarifying. It shocks us. It reawakens the knowledge of our own mortality and frailty, something I think we put aside- or attempt to- as often and as quickly as we can.

I remember when a childhood friend of mine died suddenly of a brain stem aneurism. He was a senior in college. He and his girlfriend has just decided to get married, but he hadn’t officially proposed yet. And he was gone.

At the time, my faith, belief system, whatever-you-want-to-call-it was weak. I wasn’t doing this or that, and was doing that and this- I wasn’t loving Jesus, as I liked to put it then. I was living separated from what God had for me- as I will state it now.

It was my friend’s death that shook me from my chosen direction. At his memorial service, I pulled the officiant aside and asked him to tell the family that I had returned to my, our, faith and that his death and the memories of our lives together had been the major catalyst for it.

If you’ve been reading the past week or so I’ve posted a couple times about doubt and questioning.

And, I still have questions and doubts.

What? You expected me to say that they’ve all gone and everything is fine now? HA! If only it were that easy.

I’m glad it’s not. I’m glad we get to wrestle. I’m glad that God loves us enough to not give us easy answers.

So yeah- God is still God. And He is Good.

Thanks Zac.

Yesterday I mentioned that I doubt. Today I’m pretty much vurping (vomit-burp: not a full vomit, but still not pleasant and definitely not fun like a burp).

Jason Boyett wrote a book O Me of Little Faith- and I’m probably going to read it.

Today he asked the question: How do doubters achieve a balance between honest questioning, personal transparency, and concern over the spiritual well-being of non-doubters?

Here’s my answer in the comments on that post:

wow.

Yeah- I need to read this book (or maybe I don’t).

This is where I’m at right now. Do I be transparent, and possibly impact my livelihood, or do I just skirt around the issue- hinting at it here and there- essentially putting a bandaid on?

My brother isn’t a believer- will my expression of doubt further entrench him? Or will it be the fresh honesty he wants to see?

Do I really care about causing others to stumble- or should I? Do I really believe THAT part of the Bible?

I have no problem believing in sunshine and happy days, it’s when the crap hits the fan that I well, you know, doubt.

To the question at hand- causing others to stumble. Is doubt sin? It’s not, right? So how can my lack of sin cause others to sin?

And this leads to the other stumbling blocks I may leave. I drink alcohol. I dance. I even *gasp* “cuss”. OK- I get why those are stumbling blocks:

Too much alcohol = drunkenness = sin.
Too much dancing = lust = sin.
Too much cussing = blasphemy = sin.
Too much doubt = lots of doubt = more questions = ?

Maybe too much doubt can lead to lying. BUT- if you’re being honest, ie- “I believe this and I struggle with this and I don’t think I can believe this yet, if ever”, you would wouldn’t be lying.

Score:
Honest Doubt – ok
Dishonest Doubt – Hell

???

Yesterday I posted on my blog about my doubts. Or, rather, admitted to having them. It helped some. This has helped some more.

For me open conversation helps more than anything else. It let’s me know that I’m normal- whatever that means.

This whole question of “will my doubts cause others to doubt more” hits close for me. I have a good friend that confessed their sin and expressed their doubts, and then was essentially placed outside community because of that honesty. I get it- they couldn’t lead any longer because of the sin, but to have the tough conversation and then not honestly care? REALLY?

So here I am. Will my admission of guilt in doubting cause you to doubt more? Or do you feel more normal now, too?

I really hope this isn’t a surprise to anyone.

The problem is that I didn’t think I had them. (And, I still don’t know if my doubts are real.)

I am constantly telling myself that doubts are fear-based thoughts. That they’re not really real.

THEY ARE REAL- they exist. Small to large, minute to ginormous, funny to serious, uneventful to life-changing, secular to religious.

The hardest part is that, at the same time, I hate them and cling to them.

What about you? Doubts- got em? How do you deal?

For some laughs (and maybe even some cringing) check out The Official Cinco de Moustache Facebook Page.

And for some more fun- take the poll over there ➫ ➬ ➭ ➮ ➫ ➬ ➭ ➮

HAPPY Cinco de Mustache!

Sweet pics after the jump…

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