Random… or is it?

Way back in April my wife started beauty school. But before she started we had to figure how to pay for it. So we did the FAf….whatever it is, and found out that we made too much money- the prior year. But only too much for free money. Goodie. We get to do loans. Yea.

I call up our bank to ask about Student Loans. And I get an idea. This is pretty much how it went:

Bank: Wells Fargo Student Loans, this is Barry, how may I help you?

NjS: Yeah Barry. I’m interested in Loans.

B: What kind of Loans, sir?

NjS: (Yeah I know- I’m thinking it too. So I go appease good ol’ Barry.) Uh… Student Loans?

B: Ok. What would you like to know, sir?

NjS: About your Student Loan Program.

B: Certainly…..blah, blah, blah.

At this point I’ve heard it all before. So I start asking the tough questions. It went something like this:

NjS: So, Barry… Is it possible to get multiple Student Loans?

B: As in for different schools? Or for multiple students?

NjS: Yeah, multiple students.

B: Yes. We do that.

NjS: What is the typical length of your Student Loan Program?

B: Well that depends on the type of schooling, and how long it takes to complete the program.

NjS: Let’s say I wanted a Student Loan for just one year, can I do that or do I have to wait for completion?

B: If you choose to not complete school, there will be a six month grace period before you must begin making payments.

NjS: Wait. I have to pay for the Student Loan?

B: Well, yes sir. We’re loaning you the money at an interest rate, and you agree to pay it back in a term mutually agreed upon.

NjS: That’s new. I’ve never heard of that before.

B: Its standard practice, sir.

NjS: So how much is this Student Loan going to cost me?

B: There’s the original amount that you borrow, and then there’s the interest that accrues over the life of the loan.

NjS: So my Student Loan gains interest as time goes on?

B: Yes sir. But you do have the option of paying off the Student Loan early without penalty, thus decreasing the overall interest. In the case of multiple Student Loans you may decrease your interest on all of them by consolidating them into just one Student Loan.

NjS: Wait a minute. So you’re saying that my Student Loan may not have as much interest as another Student Loan? And that if I group them together their interest would decrease even more?

B: Exactly.

NjS: Let me ask you another question.

B: Sure.

NjS: Do you guys have requirements to get into the Student Loan Program?

B: That depends on what your talking about specifically. Are there age requirements? Sometimes. Usually it depends on the school.

NjS: So I can still get a Student Loan at around 20?

B: Yes. Age usually isn’t an issue, sir.

NjS: Do you do Foreign Student Loans?

B: Yes. As long as you attend an accredited school listed with us you may have a Student Loan.

NjS: Nice.

B: Its an added bonus for a lot of people.

NjS: Well, I’m convinced I really want to do this. How do I get started? Is there an application or something?

B: Yes. There’s a couple ways you can apply. You can go to wellsfargo.com and click on the Student Loans link located under the Loans tab on the Homepage. Or you can visit any Wells Fargo branch and fill out an application there.

NjS: Oh. That’s easy!

B: It certainly is, sir.

NjS: One more question.

B: Sure.

NjS: When can I expect my Student Loan to arrive?

B: Once we receive your completed application it will be forwarded onto our underwriters. You should have a decision, typically, within 48-72 hours.

NjS: That’s quick!

B: We do our best sir. Do you have any other questions regarding our Student Loans Program?

NjS: Oh! Yes! Are Student Loans ever gender specific?

B: As a Federally Insured Deposit Company, we are prohibited from discriminating based on gender, sir.

NjS: So that means gender isn’t ever specified?

B: Correct sir.

NjS: Oh. That’s ok. I think I’ll still do it. This is going to be fun!

B: Yes sir. Education can be a very rewarding experience. Is there anything else I can help you with sir?

NjS: Nope. Thanks for your time.

B: You’re welcome sir. Thank you for calling Wells Fargo. Have a wonderful evening.

NjS: Thanks Barry!

B: Good bye sir.

NjS: Bye.

And that’s that. You know, I don’t think ol’ Barry ever really got what I was talking about. (Hint: Student….. ……..Loans)