In Your F***ING Face
Source Sex Addiction
My name is Nick Shoemaker and I am a lust-a-holic, this is my story.
I viewed my first pornographic image at the ripe age of 13.
No, my dad didn’t have magazines around. We were on family vacation and came across an abandoned house in the hills of Oregon somewhere that was, literally, full of old magazines. My mom said, “There’s a Playboy.”
I saw it, and I knew what it was. I waited until everyone was heading back to the car and made up some excuse to go back in the house. I plopped down in front of it, picked it up and quickly flipped through it. I saw one, quarter page ad of actual porn- then my mom called for me, and I dropped it and ran out of the house.
I knew it was wrong.
I was hooked.
If you’re a man and you’re reading this and you identify with this- I’m glad, at least now you know that you’re not alone. If you’re a woman and you’re reading this, I’m glad that the info-graphic above let’s you know you’re not alone.
Next step: Talk.
Talk with anyone who will listen. Talk with your grandmother. Talk with your best friend. Just talk. Don’t live in the shadows. Bust out into the freedom that is found in the light of day and complete openness. Do it again tomorrow. And the next day.
One more thing.
If the title I’ve chosen for this post truly offends you, shut up. You care more about 7 letters than you do about MILLIONS of people that are hurting and crying out. My hope is not to incite offense, but spur us on towards genuine communication about the voids in our lives and how we try to fill them.
Be well,
~Nick
awesome post, nick.
for the ladies… in case you didn’t know… there is a ministry out there JUST FOR YOU called Dirty Girls Ministry. you can find them at http://www.dirtygirlsministry.com. you definitely are NOT alone!
thank you for sharing as well! DirtyGirls is an amazing ministry- seriously- check it out!
thanks for the shout-out!
love what God is doing through you Crystal! keep going!
Brilliant post. Keep talking about it…the more that do, the more the atmosphere will be created where people can be real about their struggles.
But am I missing something…8 letters?
Thanks Jason. (the 7 letters (my bad), or characters more precisely, from the f-bomb)
I edited it- sorry for the confusion!
Love the honesty….
thanks Shaun
the problem is that people will shut up – not because of the title but because they are caught in the biggest trick that pornography pulls – silence.
You can’t tell your wife because she will be horrified
you can’t tell your friends because they will laugh at you – or disrespect you.
and not to mention all that respect you have earned.
Just keep it a secret and deal with it on your own
right
Wrong!
love the sarcasm PG! keep talking!
+1000
This is so painfully true. The silence becomes deafening. Thanks for speaking out Nick! I’m still too much a coward to do anything but comment (and even that makes me a bit nervous).
you’re talking about man- keep going!
Thanks man. I may have to repost that graphic above and take a, possibly, bold “first step” out of the silence.
go for it Sean!
here’s the link to get the embed code: http://www.heartsupport.com/spread/sex.html
Awesome, thanks man!
Done: http://www.seanrreid.com/2010/07/the-porn-post/
Thanks again for both the embed link and, more importantly, the support.
amazing post Sean!
Great stuff brother, thanks for sharing who you are and how it happened. Same thing with me, trip to DC in 8th grade and we picked up a magazine.
Great title!
glad to man!
Thanks for writing this Nick. Great stuff and honesty. Great next steps as well.
And I wasn’t offended by title, if anything it made me more intrigued
thanks Kyle! I think you’re on to me….
Thanks, Nick! I spent last summer going through a Bible study with a friend who found out her husband was a sex addict. They almost didn’t make it and she is so not alone. This world so desperately needs to be aware that porn isn’t “casual” or “funny” or an “alternative” to teen sex. It’s poison. I think Satan uses it to go for the head of a family: get the man addicted, make the woman feel useless – BAM! – two broken people with one “harmless” click.
Thanks for sharing!
thank you, Betty, for sharing just one of thousands of stories of people that have COME THROUGH sexual addiction. thank you for being by your friend, so she would have the strength to stand with her husband!
Great post, Nick…you are right on the money with these thoughts. I heard recently that the porn industry would be crippled financially if church goers in America would stop consuming it! Don’t know if that is true or not, but I’d love to see the American church do a better job of helping people find freedom from this horrible and lonely addiction!
I’ve heard stats circling those numbers as well Nolan. We must be the change, the Church.
Good stuff man. Like a fungus, the sin of porn & sex addiction thrives in the dark and secret corners of a person’s life. I was exposed to porn by a childhood friend at the age of 8. Porn has become one of the biggest & most accepted (through apathy) form of child abuse. Keep TALKING!!!
Wow John. I remember a younger cousin of mine confessing to me that he had seen porn at school- he couldn’t have been more than 9 or 10 at the time. I know I was “fortunate” for the belatedness of my exposure. Bring Light!
Hey Everyone/Nick
I am really encouraged to hear all of those comments/posts. sexual addictiona of any kind is harmful, and it is important for people to know, that it ISN’T just a dirty unknown secret, there is fall-out to our actions. Like most addictions it just gets more consuming and more consuming. There are a lot of great programs to go through (one being Celebrate Recovery,, that many churches offer– including the one I go to). Also for all of those that struggle with pornongraphy online– checkout xxxchurch.org. They have a great free software accountability tool that you can download that will send offending sites that you have visited to up to five accountability partners of your choice. If you aren’t comfortable with telling your friends just yet, you are welcome to set me up as your accountability— hopeministries@thepursuit.org. I would be happy to help hold you accountable.
Nick- thanks buddy, I love you and LOVE seeing this stuff… shine the light of Christ in the darkest areas of all of our lives and watch Him transform us!!!
thanks for sharing Big Jon! love you brother!
Hey Nick! SO GOOD! Thanks for the reminder. We need to keep this before our people too. Shame only holds its power when we keep it in the dark. Thanks for keeping the lights on!
so glad to lil’T!
BTW- your man has had a HUGE part in supporting me through this. Can honestly say that his wisdom has guided and helped so much! Big props to Dusty!
Good post Nick! Thank God for the love of Christ that makes us free!
thanks bro!
Thank you for sharing your story, it takes a lot of courage! And most of the people are completely unaware of this growing problem.