Where do we go from here?

I haven’t a clue as to how Amie and I will make it this month. Things have been tight, but now they’re really tight. I don’t know why I’m writing this out, I think I have writers block, and by jotting this down I hope to remove that and then be able to write something else…. whatever.

Running through my head at this moment is the ticker of all the payments due: Car, car insurance, furniture (yeah- dumb, I know), gas, electric, water, cell phone, internet. The hardest part is deciding which one gets the last of our money. Or do we attempt to diversify, pay a little to as many as we can, attempting to cover all the bases? This sucks.

$1,200. That’s the tide that’s coming in. That’s our need. I wish it was a drop in the bucket, but its not.

And I wrestle with the faith of it all. Gotta have faith? Gotta believe that its all going to be ok? I want to hope. I want to believe. Is that faith- the desire to want to? I know the verse in the Bible “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and evidence of things unseen.” So do I have faith? Yes. I have evidence of that which isn’t seen. I have hope. I have a belief that we can get through this.

And I know it won’t be because of anything, great or small, I did. Its gotta be God. It doesn’t matter what it is, it will be Abba. That’s faith.